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I have had to learn that there is no unembarrassing or respectable way to God. Sooner or later, all of us are asked, in one way or another, to dance in the city square to music no one else can hear. Sooner or later, all of us are asked to become fools.
At first, of course, we are terrified. We stagger around blindly; we stumble and fall. We appear to others—and to ourselves—to be totally absurd.
But soon, like St. Francis, we too may find that we are able to move a little more freely. We, too, begin to hear an inner sound—the music of our own souls. Our bodies loosen up; our minds relax.
Our hearts expand with joy, for we understand, at last, that what God really wants is not to punish or humiliate us, but to set us free.
The freedom of the fool is the ultimate freedom. It is freedom from fear—fear of the world and of our own weakness and failure. It is the freedom of the Kingdom, the freedom of St. Francis, the freedom of the urodivoi, the Russian fools for Christ.
It is the freedom of the martyrs, of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, and of all the prophets and saints. It is the freedom of those who know who they truly are but are not afraid.
When we become fools, we too shall dance before the face of God whom our minds cannot grasp nor our eyes see. We too shall know that perfection belongs to God alone and is always beyond our reach.
We too shall know that there is evil in the world and in ourselves, but because we have experienced, again and again, the infinite mercy of God, we shall be at peace.
We may be laughed at and despised, we may have no true home in this world, but we shall truly know that we are the children of God. We shall be free from fear.
When we become fools, we shall pray without ceasing. We shall knock until the door is opened to us—even when it seems it will be shut forever. We shall run after him whom we cannot see or touch. We shall live and die in his presence.
We shall be like the Good Thief who, though sinful and in pain, recognized the Lord in the Man dying on the Cross and thus entered the Kingdom.
So, fools that we are, we shall leap for joy, and we shall dance in the city squares.
And in the midst of sorrow and destruction, we shall sing of the dawn coming into the world.
Excerpted from Restoration October 2001
