This content has been archived. It may no longer be relevant
There is one gospel passage that I fought with from my first encounter. It comes after St. Paul described his anguish over the thorn in his flesh, prompting him to plead with God three times that it leave him. But God’s response was no. My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).
Too quickly, in my opinion, Paul capitulates, saying, So I shall be very happy to make my weaknesses my special boast…for it is when I am weak that I am strong (2 Cor 12:9-10).
I could never understand or accept this passage because I hated my weaknesses and sins which I saw as preventing me from coming into union with God.
Well, it was a sinner who finally unlocked the mystery for me. In Jesus’ story of the Publican and the Pharisee who went to the temple to pray, the Pharisee didn’t seem to have a thorn in the flesh or any kind of weakness. Yet his prayer was not acceptable to God.
On the other hand, the tax collector was so aware of his sins that he didn’t even raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast and whispered, God, be merciful to me, a sinner (Lk 18:9-14).
In my opinion, his prayer, which we call the Jesus Prayer, is the second most powerful one we have, after the Our Father. It has been prayed constantly by countless saints throughout the millennia.
And why? This man stood in the truth of his utter need of God. Rather than resting on whatever laurels he may have had, he called for mercy into his weakness.
Maybe he never let go of his sinful practices and had to return every day; or maybe this was Zacchaeus, who received Jesus into his home and heart.
Who knows? But as long as he begged for mercy each day, he brought joy to God and received grace.
When I took my first promises in Madonna House and was sent to a field house, I was encouraged to learn from one of the women there, because, I was told, she held the key to our spirit. I couldn’t wait to meet this holy woman.
But when I arrived, I discovered she had an addiction. I was scandalized by her and by the thought that she’d have the key to our life! But by the end of my years in that house, I understood.
She once said to me, quite cheerfully, “I don’t worry about meeting God because I have nothing with which to commend myself. I can only rely on His mercy—and that’s infinite.”
My heart has changed now, thanks to the Publican. When I sin yet again or struggle with the same temptations and weaknesses, I pray the Jesus Prayer and know that I am at rights with God.
If I have to pray this way 80 times a day, I can receive mercy 80 times. And if I have to pray for mercy constantly, I swim in his tenderness. Perhaps I can even boast of my weaknesses, because they unite me to God. His mercy is infinite.
