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The idea of doing God’s will used to be a very scary thing for me. I somehow had this idea that although God knew what was best for me, his will would always be what I did not want. Kind of like a little kid whose parents tell him to eat his vegetables. Yes, it’s good for him, but he’s still not going to be happy doing it.
And then I’d hear people pray or hear them say that I should pray for my will and God’s will to be united, to be one. And again, I thought that that meant that I had to give up my will.
I thought that if I wanted something, then therefore I had to give it up in order to do God’s will (which would be what I did not want). Thus, I shed many tears over what I thought my vocation would or wouldn’t be.
But that’s just not how it works. God is a personal God. His love for me is particular for me. In other words, yes, he knows me and my personality, and things will come at the pace that I am ready for. And God’s will for my life, in the broadest sense, is for me to be happy.
Now that I am 18, I enjoy eating vegetables, because I understand that they are good for me and I have acquired a taste for them.
The deepest desires of our hearts, what we truly desire with all our being (not just what we want on a surface level), those desires are from God.
For example: As I was praying about whether to start college at the age of 17 or to take a year off, I was slowly but steadily filled with a profound peace and happiness at the idea of going right away.
I wanted to go. I knew that going off to school was the next step in God’s plan for me. My will was united with his. And sure enough, looking at the friends I made, the experiences I had, and the growth I experienced during the past two years, I cannot doubt that this decision was the right one.
Now where does free will come into all this? Simply said, we can say no to God’s will. But that also must mean that by doing so, we are denying who we are truly meant to become.
When I deny myself what God wants for me, what he knows is best for me, I am refusing to fulfill myself and become the person that he created me to be. And becoming the person I am meant to be is the greatest source of joy.
Moreover, becoming myself is completely impossible without him, without drawing close to him. He’s the only one who can show us who we truly are. And the more we choose him and his will, the more we become who we are meant to be.
And as we blossom into the beautiful person he created us to be, we become more free—free of the world, the devil, and our own flesh (our bodily desires and instincts) which try to enslave us to our appetites and to sin.
Have you ever met people who just seem so full, so joyful, so themselves? In my experience those people, lay and religious, are the ones who have said yes to God in the little ways, every step of the way.
Then on the flipside are those who have denied God. In my experience, they know something is missing. Yup, they do whatever they want. They break laws, both legal and moral, and they get away with it a lot of the time. But if you start digging, it comes out pretty quickly that they’re not happy.
Because they’re not really free. They’ve given themselves away. They chose to give themselves away—to their flesh, to the world, to the devil. They have become enslaved, and they don’t understand how it happened.
Sometimes they know where they went wrong, but they’re too scared or embarrassed to come back. And sometimes they just have no idea and they’re simply in need of someone to tell them.
But when we’ve strayed, it’s never too late to come back and start regaining our freedom. God’s invitation, his will for our life, is always there waiting for us to say yes—always–until we’ve exhaled our final breath.
We just need to say yes—yes to God, yes to his plan for our lives, yes to his love, yes to true peace and joy, yes to becoming the person he created us to be, yes to eternal happiness.
The author was what we call a “Cana kid,” that is, someone who came with her family as a child to our summer vacation/retreat for families. Hope came a number of times.
