Posted September 09, 2015:
Coffee After Breakfast

by Posie McPhee Douthwright.

It wasn’t something that we made a decision to do; we just kind of fell into it naturally, because we enjoyed each other’s company so much, and it eventually became a habit. But it made such a difference to our marriage.

After breakfast, it was our custom to go into the living room together and sit with our coffee. A simple thing; but it was so much more than that. It was an inner attitude more than anything—a prayer, a stillness, a recollection, a focus, a listening and a sharing—about what God was doing in our lives at that particular time.

There was such a constancy in it, but such an ebb and flow as we traversed the highs and the lows that marked all that came to us on that journey. We reflected on the day before, and anticipated what this day might hold, or the days ahead.

Of course, the topic often revolved around our eight children, and how each was doing—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

We talked about our hopes and dreams for the future and what God was teaching us at that time. Looking closely at our relationship, we assessed whether we were getting closer or more distant—it seemed it was one or the other.

Depending on our life situation at that time, we would exhort, advise, comfort, encourage, admonish, and inspire one another.

These times rarely turned into fights or arguments or power struggles, because they were based on the openness of our hearts and on being vulnerable and honest.

It was a process of learning and growth, as we developed more trust and knowledge of one another’s deepest selves.

Sometimes it was mundane, ordinary things we talked about. Other times it was breathtakingly profound. We processed the happenings of our lives together, and lifted them up to our loving Father, through tragedy and crisis as well as the mountaintops we shared. But all those times brought us just a little closer day by day, and allowed us to live that oneness more completely than the day before.

—Excerpted from Marriage, (2001), pp. 64-65, available from MH Publications. (See ad on page 6.)


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