And what are these circumstances, you ask? Well, I can tell you one of them: my brother is getting married in British Columbia, next month. I don’t have permission to go to his wedding, but I do have permission to go to his reception in Kingston, Ontario, the following week.

So I don’t want to push my good fortune by asking any more permissions of this sort at this point.

Now you may be confused by this whole "permissions" thing, like I have to ask, like a child, to do this or that. I am going to try to explain as best I can.

First of all, being "like a child" is part of our Madonna House Little Mandate. "Be simple, poor, childlike," so it’s not a bad comparison.

When I become a member of Madonna House on June 8, 2009, God willing, I will make promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience. The permission "thing" falls under "obedience."

This raises two questions: (1) If I have not yet taken promises, why do I have to concern myself with obedience? (2) What does this obedience look like, and to whom am I obedient?

The first question can, at least in part, be answered simply enough. As an applicant, someone in formation, I am practicing to take promises. Given that past performance is the best indicator of future behavior, they want to see if I am ready to take promises.

The second question is more difficult. Obedience has been part of the rule of communities within the Catholic Church for a long, long, time. I have to confess that I am very new to the concept myself and have a lot of resistance to it.

Nonetheless, I cannot deny that the fruits of it here at Madonna House are plentiful, both for myself and for others. It is a large part of what has kept this community intact for all these years; not to mention the many other communities and families it has inspired.

I am obedient to God. And God speaks to us, to everybody, through people, places, and things.

At Madonna House, as in all religious communities, it also specifically means that God speaks to me through those who have been put in authority over me.

In a recent poustinia (time alone praying in a cabin), I was given the grace to see this more clearly. As the Church is the Body of Christ, we are the parts of that body. It is like each of us is a cell of the entire Mystical Body of Christ.

In the same way that we require discipline in managing our own physical body, mind, and soul, we require discipline to manage the body of Madonna House, which is part of the large body of the Church. It is a kind of communal self-discipline.

In the same way that I have to study when I don’t feel like studying, play when I don’t feel like playing, work when I don’t feel like working, and take care of the sick when I don’t feel like taking care of the sick, I have to put the needs of the community before my own.

The people who have the broadest view of those needs are the people who have broader responsibilities than I do. So, to some degree, and I am still trying to find that balance, I must trust the decisions of those who are over me.

Well, I don’t know if you get the sense of what I am talking about, Frank. You are a good friend, and I am very honored to be asked to be in your wedding party. At this point, I cannot say whether or not I will be able to accept your invitation. I will let you decide whether you want to wait until I find out or choose someone else.

Be well. Regardless of whether or not I am able to attend your wedding, my prayers are with you and Janine. I offer up to God my joy and delight at your decision to marry. May your years together be blessed.

Your friend always,
Derek