My mother and I were sitting in her sunny kitchen. "Mom, I am very worried about something," I said in a low, serious voice. "Yes?" my mother said, as she leaned a bit closer to me from across the kitchen table.

"Well, you know how much I love animals?"

"What is it, Chris?" my mother asked. "Tell me."

"Well, when the baby is born, will I love him or her as much as I loved those animals when I was a child?"

My mother looked at me, leaned back in her chair, and then she began to laugh in a fit of delight and amusement. "You have no idea what it is like to love your own child. Of course you don’t know this because you have never been a father."

Then she laughed some more. "Christopher, when the baby is born, you will be amazed at how much love you will feel and give. Don’t worry. We human beings are built to love. There is a place in our hearts to love animals and art and music, and there is a place to love our children. That place in your heart is empty at the moment because your child has not yet been born."

David was born three weeks later, and when the nurse wrapped him in a blanket, I asked if I could hold him. The nurse laughed. "Of course you can hold him," she said. "You are his father."

That was the first time someone called me a father. I knew that David would be a part of me for the rest of my life.

That first time I held him in my arms, I gasped with joy and gratitude, I suddenly loved David more than the geese and mice and turtles. And that’s when I really knew for the first time what God the Father must feel towards us, his children.

Then, many years later, I learned something else about God from being a father.

When Christ was asked how we are to live, he said that he wanted people to love one another. I never really understood that desire until all three of our children were born. Now I know what it is that I wish for them when I die. I wish to know that David, Karen, and Michael love each other.

I cannot explain exactly why this is so, but as a father, it is very important for me to know that my children embrace one another in awe. I suppose it is because I see the extraordinary gifts that these three children hold within themselves.

If someone were to ask me which of my children I love best, I would not be able to answer, for in my eyes, each one is holy, extraordinary, bright, funny, good, brave, kind.

If we could love one another as a father loves his children, we would have a dramatically different world.

A father sees through a child’s flaws. A father sees the inner nature of a son or daughter, that inside, hidden part, and when a father sees the soul part of the child, he sees hints of God’s work. And whenever we see hints of God’s work, a deep sense of love is triggered deep within ourselves.

It’s easy to know the love of God the Father if you are blessed to be a father.

— Adapted from Fathering, pp. 3,4,7,8, available from Madonna House Publications.

We’ve published articles by José de Vinck and poems by Catherine de Vinck—and now Christopher. José and Catherine are husband and wife, and Christopher is one of their children. They have been friends of MH for many years, and all three are authors of published books.