After volunteering full time for several months at Marian Centre Edmonton in 1974, I somehow knew that Madonna House was my vocation—even before I ever set foot in Combermere.

The Lord had lit a great fire in my heart for himself, and the vision and enthusiasm I found in Madonna House connected deeply with my soul.

Catherine Doherty was the most exciting person I had ever met. She was passionately in love with God, with us, and with life, and she communicated this powerfully.

She often said, "Nothing is foreign to the apostolate but sin." The lady thought big, and it seemed to me that with Catherine, God, and Madonna House, the sky was the limit. Yes, this was what I had been searching for.

And so I stayed, but not without some major struggles. God bless my spiritual director! My first couple of years here, I hardly talked to him about anything except how hard it was to "give up" music. Previously, music had been my whole life, and playing in small groups was my great passion.

Thus began my long, long journey of surrender, which eventually allowed God to fuse my love for music with my burning love for him. Music for the glory of the Lord, but in the Lord’s time, not mine.

Now it’s not as if God took this great love away from me, just because I offered him my gift of music. No!

My first twenty-five years in the apostolate were pretty much lived in various field houses.

There were years when I totally set music aside because he was asking something different of me. There were other years when I could play to my heart’s content with wonderful church musicians as we served in the local parishes.

I think especially of what a joy it was to play for ten years at the 11 o’clock Sunday Mass at our parish in the Yukon and how, on occasion, our music group would turn into a dance band for parish events held in the church basement.

However all through these years, whether it was musical feast or famine, a collection of songs was forming in my heart.

Catherine’s poem, "Dreams," was the inspiration behind my first song, written in 1975. In many ways, this song became a prophetic word for my life. "My heart is hungry for things unheard, unseen. Why do I dream? I dream, my Lord, because I am in love with you."

This song, as well as the next one, "Magdalena’s Lament," strongly reflect the blues/jazz sound that I was so steeped in during my early years.

I wrote "Jesus, Living Water" when I was stationed in the hot, dry desert of Winslow, Arizona.

The music for "The Glory" came to me in the poustinia in Magadan, the administrative city of Russia’s gulag. This song with its rocking 50s & 60s beat might seem incongruous with the land of suffering in which it was written, but it is really about the call to believe in the Lord’s promise and "…the glory yet to be revealed."

Another burst of creativity hit me after my return from Russia. Within a short period of time I wrote the "Te Deum," "Bread of Heaven," "In the Dark of Night," and "How High is Love."

This last song enters into one of Catherine’s most passionate themes. The lonely Christ, who died for love of us, stands by the road waiting, calling out to the passers-by and begging for the crumbs of our love.

One word about these songs: they existed only in my head. They took shape in my head, and I never played them anywhere except in my head.

This music needed certain instruments (saxophones, flutes, Irish whistles, harmonicas, drums) and certain kinds of musicians. The Lord had not provided these, so I had become content to wait.

Hopefully, I would hear the songs played live when I finally joined that Heavenly Band in the Sky.

Well, the Lord (or was it Our Lady?) had a surprise for me. These past three or four years I have been playing with some wonderful local musicians in a praise band.

One day after a practice, I realized I had everything I needed to work on my own music. Jim and Lisa’s harmonies were superb. Tom is an awesome drummer. And the other instruments were all there. The doors all flew open.

In October 2005 I was able to take my vacation at a local recording studio. My musician friends, including a handful of MH staff, were nearby.

River of Grace was produced in record time. No pun intended.

Later there was one hitch—a problem with one of the eleven songs that we recorded. I could not get the copyright for it, and in the end it needed to be dropped from the CD. So, I decided to quickly write another song to fill the gap.

"Queen of Peace" was written on Christmas Day 2005. Our Lady’s presence was tangible the day I wrote it, and it was even stronger the day we recorded it. She was with us and she had made it clear that she wanted to be on this album. Many people have said that this is their favorite song.

"…You can fool a lot of people, but you can’t fool the Queen of Peace!"

This is a high-energy CD, which includes some restful pauses, and it is filled with faith and hope in our God, the giver of all graces.

There’s quite a variety of styles, including Latino and Caribbean. With one or two possible exceptions, this is not liturgical music. (You won’t hear a jazz band at Mass if you visit Madonna House.)

But this CD can lift your heart to God the next time you’re stuck in that maddening traffic jam on your way home from work, or raise your spirits when you need a little spiritual refreshment.

Interested in ordering it? Though River of Grace is not available through Madonna House Publications, you can order it directly from me by sending a check or money order for $20 CAD or $18 USD (plus $3 shipping and handling).

Please make out the check to Trudy Moessner and send it to me at:

Madonna House
2888 Dafoe Rd
Combermere ON   K0J 1L0
Canada

All of the proceeds go to support our new mission house in Krasnoyarsk, Russia.

Enjoy the river!