30 Jan It is Enough That I Am
by Cheryl Ann Smith
I am always longing for more time for silent prayer. So when, some time ago, I was felled by a virulent flu, I saw it as a golden opportunity. With my high fevers, I would be confined to my sick bed for a few days. Here was my chance.
The problem was that I hardly had energy to light a vigil candle, let alone “pray”. In fact, I couldn’t quite garner the energy to do much more than sleep.
When I awoke from one nap, there was a refrain in my heart: It is enough that I am. And with it came peace and a deep joy.
I didn’t compose this refrain; I didn’t really hear a melody. Yet there it was, singing in my heart of hearts when I fell asleep, and when I awoke.
Without hearing the verses sung, I knew they went something like this: “I don’t have to pray. I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to be a certain way. It is enough that I am. I am beloved by my Father—as I am—sins and all. His mercy covers all. It is enough that I am.”
The next day, I awoke with the refrain again, but this time, the singer was God. It is enough that I AM.
Again my heart leapt for joy. This is where the striving heart can lay down her burden. God is everything. I am just a poor one with nothing to offer but my love.
All that is needed is to surrender to the mercy of God, to his love, his forgiveness, his goodness. Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest (Mt 11:28).
So, for my remaining sick days, God and I sang the refrain to this song of mercy as a duet—my little croak melting in his rich voice: It is enough …